Year 2010, start of different feeling

Today is quite a busy day. Only me followed my parents for breakfast this morning, then we headed back home. My aunt is shifting today to Klang, so my dad went and helped out to load all the stuff. So, at first my mom wanted to go to IKEA to buy some kitchen accessories, but ended up staying at home cause of the house shifting. Then in the afternoon I brought my younger brother for hair cut ^^ First time bringing him for a hair cut, as if it was the first time I perform the duty of being a sister. After that I dragged him to JUSCO, just to accompany me to hang around... I spent a lot today ! On books-RM20, a wallet for my younger brother-RM20, lunch meal-RM11(for both my brother and I).This RM50 is my "birthday present" from Dad... See!!! Finished already. Recently I spend a lot on books and anime... Especially books... T.T Should not go to the bookstore too recent. Haha.

Actually by the time my Dad came home was evening already, then both of my parents quarreled...

I was sitting outside and reading novel by the time my Dad came back. After I heard them quarreled and my Dad smashed the door and dropped the Tupperware, my heart was aching and sometimes I really hate those adults whom quarrel in front of children. Their quarrel is more to cold war... I nearly cry that time, suddenly felt so helpless and really wanted a shoulder by right. However, sometimes something like that turns up, I can only stand on my own feet. Sigh... but at least still got siblings, however they cannot do anything also...

I went into my room cause my mood was really bad that time, I just want to hide myself away from everyone, not to let them see I am dropping my tears down and feeling depressed. No longer I slept in my room for an hour, cause I was quite tired actually. I slept at 3.30am and woke up at 9am just to accompany my family. That's why... So tired.

Then tonight our dinner supposed to be family gathering, but ended up... We ate our dinner separately.

First round, my elder brother and his girlfriend, my younger brother and I, the four of us went for dinner together. Just normal stalls food. After that I got to know that my Dad will spend his dinner time together with my Aunt and cousins. So finally when I reached home after my own dinner, my Dad called me and asked me whether if I want to come over to the restaurant which they are having dinner in. So got no choice but to accept, as it has been quite a long time that I haven't met my cousins. By the way, it seems to be a must to drop by and chat around with them. Hmm so I forced my brother's girlfriend to follow me as well, haha cause after that I still have to send her back to her house.

I don't really speak up in front of people except those who are really close with me. Even adults, I also don't really find any common topic to start up... Maybe I got no skills in starting a conversation with adults or the others. My Dad and the rest said that I should learn to be more extrovert and expose myself in such situation, cause I will be taking Management marketing course soon... This course requires a lot of presentation and conversation between people, I can hardly imagine how am I suppose to approach people around me in the future working environment if I still lack of confidence in myself to talk to the others. Or to say I am quite shy too. Haha... Hopefully can get to know more people and friends in university soon, must learn some communication skills already.

This year, really have to work hard.. But I am scared also!! The burden is getting heavier than before no matter in academic stuff or my piano. Sigh. Hope that I can stay strong... T.T