Monday, January 28, 2013

L.I.F.E

Have I failed?

Cause I looked back at my PAST which makes me WEAK once again...

Have I surpassed?

Cause after I looked back at my PAST, I am grateful that I had been through those hard times and learned to appreciate more of the others and myself.

2011



A flash back of my PAST...

It all represented my growth from an innocent girl to a young lady who had been through obstacles and challenges throughout her teenage life. 



2013


Heart aching experiences, upset moments which filled with tears...

I am glad that I had overcome them bravely, and I would continue to move on from where I am standing now, just to achieve the glory in making my life a beautiful one.

The Obscure Love

Title: The Obscure Love 

When the night arrives after the twilight
The overwhelming feeling sometimes would make me tear
Day by day  I thought we would meet each other again
Or its merely an imagination on my mind

Your bright smile have enlightened my everyday
I couldn't bear the pain while sadness climbs on your face
Oh talk to me  I promise I would always keep you accompanied
Don't be afraid to embrace if its our fate

I'll brave myself to forgo all the pain that I have been through
With the belief that I wish to see your smile from your heart
Together we could start anew and hold on tight to move on
Never regret  as long this path has me and you 

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Blur Enough

What a Sunny Day today. 

Since I came back from Sunway Pyramid last night, my whole body was aching, and I am still unable to get enough rest even though I slept till around 10am. 

Before I attend my theory class as usual on every Saturday morning, my Mom asked me to fill up the petrol for the car. 

Okay, I did it. 

After that, something happened.

I usually pump around RM40 for my Kelisa, and my Mom was telling me that RM40 wasn't enough to fully fill up the petrol at all, as she pumped in around RM50 ++ to get it filled the other day. 

I don't believe what she said, because in fact RM40 is enough as I had experience it before. 

Today, I thought of giving it a try to accept what she mentioned before, because I think that I could have gone wrong with my own view. 

Thanks to my aching body and blur mind, I stood there and pumped in the petrol until its almost RM50, but I still don't see anything happen. 

The next second, the petrol tank was overfilled and the petrol just flowed out from the tank ! 

It was really OH MY GOD!!!

I got so frustrated that I don't know how to clean that up. 

In the end I used lots of tissues to clean it. 

Lesson learnt : 

Never doubt of something if you have truly experienced it before. 

Anyway, its a really good experience for me to go through such frustrated moment when the petrol actually spilled onto my feet as well. 

Because I have learned to experience it myself, so that I wouldn't doubt unnecessarily any more. 





Friday, January 25, 2013

I. Miss. You

I met up with my best friend, Xiao Mint today at Sunway Pyramid. 

I took the train, and at a particular moment I felt so overwhelmed with touching emotions when I placed my eyesight on the greenery scenes that passed by so quickly in front of my eyes. 

All of that sudden, I can feel that the world is really beautiful, when you embrace yourself with the nature. 

I am glad that, Xiao Mint and I still chat a lot like how we'd last two years. 

I guess our friendship and our communication have shown that, distance is not always a problem to maintain a relationship. 

I feel grateful about it. 






On top of these happiness, I still miss Him.



I. Miss. You.

And it's true.


I sincerely hope that He would have a great day, even though a working day might be hectic and pressure for him.

In the evening, I am worried about Him driving back to Klang due to the rainy day.

I have waited 45 minutes for the bus, and I was alone.

It was a rainy evening.

Thank God I didn't get too wet, but as I stood there, I thought a lot.

I was imagining, if He is beside me, I would lean on Him for a rest, without complaining that the bus was not arriving at all.

I just need a hug, need someone to rely on when I need it.


"The overwhelming feeling sometimes would make me tear."

And that someone must be the one whom I loved.

My feelings for Him are more than admiration, just because of His bright smile.


"Your bright smile have enlightened my everyday."

I'll have to admit that, I would not want to turn my feelings for him from Loving to Possessing.

This is an important lesson which I have learned in the past.

I don't want to care so much about what would happen in the end, I just want Him to feel the warmth of being concerned by someone, who is not even part of his family, or his close friends.

I guess, this could be a great timing, whereby I have fell for Him.

Nobody likes to talk about their own past, especially those which were hurtful.

But I am thankful that I had been through all those obstacles, and I had learnt to be more forgiving and loving now.

If He would have knew about my affection, I would like to tell Him that, I am willing to understand about you more, and accept all of you with an open heart.


"I'll brave myself to forgo all the pain that I have been through."

I believe that this would make our world even beautiful.

So, why don't we give it a try if there is an opportunity to grow the love?


"Together we could start anew and hold on tight to move on."

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

The Law of Attraction

昨天晚上,跟Alex出去了。

他请我喝了杯饮料,就在Queen of Spades.

跟不熟悉的男生聊天,我还是很沉默的,不过幸好我能够理解他的思想的程度,过程中我扮演着聆听者的角色比较多。

我深深相信着,昨天的那一幕会实现,全然是因为“吸引力法则”的缘故,因为之前的我一直都在努力地把这一幕引进我的生活里。

还有就是我工作终于有了眉目,下周三会去面试,地点又不远。

我相信这也是我的意念所引来的结果,因为我想找一份工作是MNC的,而且公司地点座落在离我家不远的地方,例如Subang Jaya 或者Shah Alam.

很神奇,真的很神奇。

现在该做的,就是继续努力地、开心地、积极地过活,做一些我喜欢做的事情,然后尽情地享受!

我相信我会拥有我所要的,所以就静静等待它实现的那一天吧!


Monday, January 21, 2013

Learn to be Grateful


I am grateful that, my life is full of love.

Loving parents, Loving brothers, Loving friends, Loving relatives, Loving classmates.

I wished so much, every day, every time, every moment, especially when I am down and upset just because of me thinking too much.

But I still believe that, my wishes would come true, because I am loving all the time, and not judging / discriminating.

I had learnt, from my past... 

When you are loving, you are able to give without any doubt or regret, and you would not take such action as a blame, that why aren't you receiving back from the person who could enjoy so much of your love.

Never give up after one failure, 

I want to know you more, 

I want to share all joy, 

If you are the main melody in my life, 

Then I would be very willing to be the accompaniment in your life. 

May all my bless would surround you all day. 





Friday, January 18, 2013

最美丽的情谊

2013年1月16日及1月17日,对我来说是最美好的两天。




三个多月前,我在一次参加的课外活动中认识了一个叫Michelle的女孩。

或许是投缘的关系吧,虽然跟她的话不多,但是我却打从心底对她有好感。

我没想到,心中持续保留的那份好感,竟然会在那次的课外活动结束以后,继续蔓延至今。

我们一时的兴起,

我一时的热情,

便邀约她到了我所居住的小城市来游玩一趟。

起初我有点担心,这个期望是否会实现,毕竟这两年的我已经渐渐与一些以前曾经很要好的女性朋友疏远了,原因无他,就因为她们都到了澳洲留学。

有一个女孩在我刚进大一念书时跟我很要好,我们的相识太顺其自然,很快就打成了一片。

自从她到澳洲留学后,我们虽然保持联络,却感觉没太多话题了。

现在她回来大马了,我们嘴上说想要把对方约出来叙旧,但她都开始工作了,人又住在KL,还要陪男朋友,真的觉得她很忙,而我的确偶尔都会在忙着教琴。

话说回来,这两天跟Michelle相处,真的是我21岁以后人生中第二个最美丽的回忆。

跟她相处、沟通的每一刻让我很感动。


16日那天


我因为早晨在作曲的关系,所以拖延了一点时间,加上妈妈出去菜市场回来得有点迟,所以我准备之际有点匆忙,本来想要准时到电车站接Michelle的,后来却还是迟到了,这真的让我很不好意思。

她说她吃素,我第一次有一个真正吃素的朋友,所以我顾虑比平常多,当天我一直想着,午餐带她吃什么好?

其实我内心早就有打算要带她到素食馆,因为哪里菜色不错又便宜,我心想应该会合她的胃口。

我不是一个很懂得做决定的女孩,可是人生中总会遇到很多时刻需要我去作主,即使我再害怕后悔、害怕做错选择,我仍然必须去面对。

那么为何不鼓起勇气去决定呢?只要有勇气承担任何后果就好啦。

吃午餐的时候,气氛有点安静,我又担心她会不自在,就开始跟她聊聊天,很快就问到她的隐私━感情事。

原本我还在担心她会不愿意跟我分享,或许她有什么不愉快的记忆,到了晚上我却发现,原来是我想得太多。

她是一个很愿意分享任何想法的一个女孩,

她看起来腼腆,却不是一个没有想法的女孩,

这就是她可爱的地方。

我相信,这个是她的魅力。

我记得那天我问了她,“你会不会偶尔觉得遗憾自己从来没有真正谈过一段恋情,经历过那些感情的起起落落?”

她说,她会有这种想法。

我努力去诠释及理解她这一番回答,我或许可以明白一些。

就好像,那种“憧憬”的感觉。

站在我的立场的同时,我回头看看自己的经历,不会太坎坷,不会太堕落,可是那种痛彻心扉的感受、恐惧害怕的心情、脆弱无力的日子,让我突然感慨万分。

那一刻,我在想,如果时光倒流,我会不会选择不去爱,不去深陷在爱情里、不去接触男人?

下一秒,我又告诉自己,别傻了,怎么可能,而且都已经从头走了一遍直到今天,就证明你已经接受了那一段过去。

就是那一段过去,造就了现在的自己。

所以,坚信自己的信仰及决定,勇敢而努力地过活吧!

时间一晃就到了下午,当时我们打算到电影院看一场戏,结果却不如我们所愿。

我总感觉她很失落,其实我真的不想让她失落,因为早在她前来巴生之前,我就告诉自己,这两天的旅程一定要让她觉得很充实,很开心。


进一步对她了解,发现她也爱唱歌,于是我们就去了GreenBox高歌好多好多曲。

我发现她跟我有一个共同点,就是一首歌唱过一遍以后,就直接跳过,那种感觉就是,有唱过就好。

我很意外,她的歌喉很棒,同时很羡慕她可以唱高音,而我的喉咙却没那么安分,毕竟以往的我时常生病咳嗽,病一次、声音就变得低沉了一些,有时候声带还有点沙哑。

跟她一起唱歌,很舒服、很轻松、很开心。

傍晚我带着她到我教琴的音乐中心参观,顺便让她等我教完一堂课,最后我的学生却放了飞机没来上课!晕。

在等我的学生到来的那半个小时内,我们谈了好多好多感想,因为我开始分享了我自己的隐私。

说真的,直到现在我都没有机会真正对一个女性朋友倾诉内心千万种与Victor有关的心情,或许是她们正忙碌着度过自己的生活,或许没人能够真正理解我单纯喜欢一个人的心情,唯有自己独吞这种逐渐在内心膨胀的澎湃感,试图抑制着它不让它爆破心灵中那个美好的包裹里。

我真的很担心Michelle会觉得我很罗嗦,因为我真的是一个很喜欢很喜欢分享的人,只要是美好的,我会更加主动分享。

我们一聊就可以持续到晚上,我想如果我不做起决定说:“一起吃饭吧!”,我们必定会聊至通宵达旦。

我真正开始了解她,是晚上在我房间里聊天的时候,她跟我提起她以前一些感情经历,她是一个擅长表达的人,一个内心充满着许多感受、极具爆发力的女孩。

她,太特别了。

吃完饭后她要求我弹奏自创曲,我并没很强大的信心,不过最后我还是满足了她的要求,跟着感觉去弹奏出我为Victor谱写的曲子。

最让我意想不到的是,她居然发出连绵不断的感叹,一曲终了,她又不停地称赞我,说曲子有多么动听。

另一个让我感动的是,她说我的曲子听起来很有日本歌曲的Feel。

我想这是因为我每一次听的都是日本曲吧,所以在不知不觉中就渐渐形成了那种风格。

我很感激她的意见,因为这让我对自己的作品多了不少信心,我真切感受到她真的倾注全心去聆听这首曲子的含义。

我相信,她感受得到我注射进曲子里的那种喜欢、期待、思念交加的感觉。

第一次,我竟然感到如此满足,如此快乐,因为我有了知音。

她真的是我的知音。

不仅仅是音乐,在生活思想上亦是。

我很佩服她,钢琴练了五年却有那么优秀的Sight Reading Skill,真的很棒!

她最可爱的地方,就是她感叹时很有震撼力,声音柔柔地说:“哇塞!”。我倒是第一次听见有一个女孩可以把这种感叹词表达得如此温柔!

很特别,真的很特别。

将近深夜,她躺在我右边的床上,我则静静地坐在她的左边专心为那首曲子作词。

大约过了五至十分钟的沉默,她竟然睡着了!

那时候我看着她的眼神含笑,真的很羡慕她可以那么快就进入梦乡,我的心里是感到甜蜜的,就是要让客人有那种宾至如归的感觉,舒舒服服的,我就很满足了。

那天晚上我睡得不是很熟,满脑子都是曲子、词儿,夜间猛醒了好几次,又担心自己有临床踢被子、要不就把被子卷走的坏习惯,于是起身又帮她盖得严实一点这才放心继续睡。




17日那天




我替她准备了跟我一模一样的早餐,只是她的热巧克力里没放麦片而已。哈哈。

我真的很疯,还特意拍照留念,我觉得挺有意思的,可是有点担心她不习惯这样的我,所以拍照之前还问了她意见,真的很可笑。

接下来我们到书局逛,我这才发现我们俩人真的是喜欢泡书局的人!

我们真的可以逛很久耶!

她真的可以静静地坐在那里翻着书耶!

发现这一点后,我的内心又抑制不住兴奋一场,雀跃万分啊!

你说,是不是知音?

音乐、思想、书籍……

我的内心真的只有“天啊!”这两个字,真的真的真的太棒了!

老天爷对我好好,这种朋友真的是一种超特别超有缘分的恩赐!

我超珍惜的。

我想我最享受的时刻就是跟她一起静静地坐在那里翻着书,认真地埋首于书本里所描绘的思想世界。

那一刻的我,很感动、很感动。

那种美好太无法言喻,却是如此真实。

它象征着一种相互理解的安宁。

可惜所剩时间不多,我们接着就去看电影,影片的主题叫“The Tower”,那是一部非常感人又令人钦佩的韩国片。

看戏的时候,自己亦陷入剧情里,深深地感受着各种画面播放时的意义,顿时让我在短短的瞬间里领悟了好多。

例如,那个摩天楼的老板为了不再增加自己的损失,不顾他人的死活启动了防火墙。

例如,那对年迈的情侣经历了如此惊险的火灾过程,老伯伯为了拯救老阿姨,不停地说服她,给予她力量告诉她可以做到跳下去吊篮里。

我的心,瞬时崩溃了。

正所谓,患难见真情。

例如,那个不停地向上帝祷告的金先生最后还是不幸被利器刺中腹部死去了,他最后一句话隐隐回荡在我耳边,说着:“我以为我会活着出去,我真的以为我会活着出去。”

他坚持到最后一刻都不曾放弃那份死里逃生的信念,那么地乐观而坚持。

这样勇敢的态度是值得我们学习的。

例如,队长舍身救人,自己引爆炸弹的悲剧,最后他给他的老婆留言了,向她道歉后又向她表明爱意,我的泪水此刻决堤。

人是不是往往等到即将失去的那一刻,才懂得放低身段,真真切切地用心真感受、珍惜往日的每一段美好?

离开戏院以后,我跟Michelle俩人太震撼了,不停地对那部戏剧赞不绝口,甚至激动得分享自己的感想。

下午时光,是在我最喜欢的一家咖啡馆━Pacific Coffee Company度过的。

我很高兴我有机会将此地介绍给Michelle,我相信她会喜欢。

我们各自点了一杯咖啡,她的是Vanilla Latte,我的则是Cappuccino,然后还点了西式点心。

疯狂地照相、依依不舍的心情。

在送她去电车站的路途中,我们谈起了家庭。

她说她是一个肯为心爱的亲人及朋友花心思的女孩,做做卡片、制造小惊喜,而且她跟她的妈妈偶尔会聊聊天,生活跟我有点像。

当我与她分享那种为别人而努力,让他们因为我们的付出而深深地被包围在幸福里面时的心情,才发现我们真的是同类人。

我们都不喜欢冷落别人,喜欢让人感到温暖。




后记

晚上教完课回到家,我坐在钢琴前又弹起了那首自创曲,思念着Victor,抱持着Michelle给我的信心,边弹边唱地演绎着自己的情感。

深夜里,我坐在床上认真翻阅着中午买的那一本“秘密”。

短短两个小时内,我已经把书看了一大半了。

我不得不承认,这本书的意义非凡。

多亏Michelle的分享感言,让我下定决心购买它,把它带入我的生活中。

我读懂了“吸引力法则”,读懂了那三个步骤。


  1. 要求
  2. 相信
  3. 接收
赋予自己正面的思想,那么整个宇宙就会随着你所想要的运转,让你达到你的目标。

里面的一位作家说:“时间是不存在的”,所以目标达成之际并没有时间观念来限定,而人不应该限制自己在一个时间的框架里,因为从你要求的那一刻,你相信的东西就已经存在了,只是还没有被你的感受发现而已。

这一句话,太有意思了,回想起我过往的经历,我真的非常赞同。

后来我照着本书的教导,种下了一种安宁的信心,还有就是深深相信我所想要的就已经在我的身边,而且我正在接收着它,接下来还会继续接收更多。

我突然起了兴致做个小测验,心里深信着Victor会在这个夜深人静的时候依然在线上。

抱持着这种信念及肯定,我开始流览Facebook的Chat List,结果真的如我所愿!

那一刻吸引力法则真的验证了我的信念,我的嘴角弯成一个微笑的弧度,就这样维持着这种由衷而笑的表情及心情好一阵子。

原来,它是存在的。

我相信了。

我在接收它了,否则之前的我跟Victor也不会发生那么多交集,我也不会在与他对望的那一刻深深发现自己的感受,不是吗?




Michelle是一个很特别的女孩,她说过的话都反映着她内心最真实的想法及感受,让人深信不已,更增加了我不少的自信心。


很高兴认识了你,你的存在是美丽的,所以要坚信自己所选择的。

谢谢你带给了我如此美好的一份回忆。

你在网上写的那一份感想录,是我在清晨六点半醒过来的时候看到的。

泪水差一点就夺眶而出了。

我相信,我们俩是互相吸引而理解彼此的。

最后一句你告诉了我,要信任及运用秘密的力量,我真的感到非常震撼!

我们的心灵是有所感应的。

阅读完了你记录下来的心情,即使眼皮感到疲倦,我的嘴角边却挂着异常甜蜜的微笑。

我突然更加深信,从今开始会有更多美好的事物发生。

因为你,因为秘密。

就让大家一起努力,活出生命的美好吧!

我们肯定有缘再相见,就在不久以后。

Arigatou……




By: Kathrina Lim





Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Best Memories in 2012

My lovely 21st Birthday 


I had a great 21st birthday, on the 19th of December, 2012. 

Thanks to my parents and relatives, who have contributed to this grand birthday party, and thanks to all of my friends, classmates who have attended. 

I felt sorry that I don't really have much time to spend with them, but I am really grateful that they came.

THANK ALL OF YOU. =)

A lot have happened on that day, a lot of wishes, a lot of laughters, a lot of heart touching moments, and some of my tears. 

I am glad that my cousin, Lars was actually there with me on that day, and I am able to deliver my early wishes to him. 

I know I am lame, but I am a girl who can be contented easily, as long my loved ones are all beside me, living happily and safe. 

I am glad that, I have met Lars's girlfriend, Lily. 

She is really a nice girl, and she takes care of me while I was sick. She is lovely. 

I started to believe that, love can spark in a split second. 

That's the most beautiful moment I have ever gone through...

his friendliness, 
his sincerity,
his smile,

I have captured everything in his eyes.

This is my first time, liking someone so much, just because of his bright smile,
which could bring warmth into my heart.

This, is my little secret. =)