今天。疯狂被屠杀

今天终于，大考完毕了！最后一次搭火车回家，然后妈妈到车站接我就去了服装店看衣。老实说第一次踏进那间店时，他们的员工未免太热情了吧。好听一点就是热情亲切，难听点就是自作主张。我已经讲明了说只是到处看看，没说真的要买还是要试穿，她们就拼命介绍，还说自己店都是自己做的什么，但到头来还告诉我有些款式的都是抄袭那些大名鼎鼎的名牌服装潮流及款式。我就这样被无缘无故拖去试穿，而且那些衣服都是她们选的，根本与我无关。哎。妈咪也是被她们抓去另一边试穿了。不过，试了几次过后，才真的看见两套自己满意的，结果你知道吗？我平时都很少会一次过买多多件，可以说没有，除了新年也只是在同时间买了一件上和下的配衣。天啊！当我说我不太喜欢时，不要买，她们就说，为什么不要，然后装出可怜兮兮的样子希望我买下它一样。还有，那个柜台小姐，当我告诉她我不要其中一件时，她就已经把钱算进去，而且还说为什么不要，但是那个时候钱已经~~呜呜。感觉有够无辜的了！光是我的衣服只是两套，然后两件外套及内衣，还有一条腰带，就要整三百七十令吉了！天啊！我以后绝对不要再去那买衣服了！今天被妈咪带进去，吸取一次经验了。天啊，怎么可以那么贵！我真的好希望把全部衣服原封不动退回去，告诉她们我不要了~~这根本就是屠杀嘛！完了，我一向在衣着方面都是久久才买一次一百令吉以下的衣服，这次却一次过买了三百多令吉。这是什么天理啊！真的有种被陷害的感觉耶，真的不服。而且我还特别怀疑，她们的店啊，尤其是镜子，好像怪怪的！在那穿就什么都美，身材又高高瘦瘦的，现在回到来觉得好像普通的好看而已。我真的怀疑她们的镜子被施了魔法还是什么，哎。总之我现在真的后悔莫及了~~还是不太心甘情愿。现在简直就是破坏了我玲妅小心花钱的的原则了！过分~~都怪自己太容易被影响了。哎，女孩子天生就是自恋，而且以为自己穿了什么会真的是非常漂亮，但是真的红颜祸水咯！哎，所以女孩子真的不可以乱来啦，要不然真的后悔一辈子啊！那时就真的是名副其实的红颜祸水，还是花儿凋零的那种，凋零后的花瓣还被人家踩在脚底下。这种场面，跟之前花儿芬芳娇气的时候简直就形成一个很大的对比！所以真的要自爱，要保有一个女孩子家应有的贤淑条件！否则女孩子们，也是贱命一条啊。

好好活下去，是我唯一能够做的。

几乎一个星期没有打开部落格了。这一个星期里，感觉似乎好漫长，时间却是在飞快的流逝。今天可说是四科重要的科目都考完了，虽然明天还有一科，而且我相当担心明天的考试，毕竟我之前所累积下来的分数并不多，这次大考是我最后一次机会去努力，无论如何我都不要抱着害怕及服输的态度去面对它，因为我绝对不允许自己有下一次的重考。即使我多么担心，还是得努力温习一番，否则一切希望只会成为破灭了的奢望。

明天就是最后一天了，这四个月辛苦熬出来的成果，我不希望会令自己失望。因为这些都是我亲身亲历去完成的，最大的努力已经尽在心里了，所以……绝对不可以有任何重蹈过去到现在的机会。即便如此，今晚心情还是不太安定，虽然已经读了好一会儿的书，仍然避免不了自讨苦吃的担心。不过，就是想到部落格看下东看下西，不知不绝地就涌起要写新文章的念头了。之前忙得不可开交的时候，只是忙里偷闲的进来看一下，那样就会有安全感及满足感了。老实说我很惦记着我这个部落格，也很惦记着我写故事的日子，因为那些日子是最悠闲，最让我容易满足不过了。而且光是那么做，几乎可以打发我半天的时间了。加上我之前都会常常练琴，一天的时间其实并不难过。只是偶尔心情转换的时候会开始觉得夜晚其实也很漫长。

有时候走了那么远的路会有种欣慰，同时欲流泪的感觉。毕竟，当我不知不觉走到我当初欲赶快抵达的那一天时，我会开始回忆起从前的自己，多么地刻苦在努力向前走，尤其是独自向前走的时候。现在，来到基础课程的尽头了，已经快要抵达真正的结束了，以为会放下一切担忧与压力，可是似乎还不是时候。我总是以为过了大考，一切真的雨过天晴了。可是现在，却觉得前方还有另一条必须做选择的岔路，然后又是一番奋勇的开始。

不过，我真的感到很庆幸了，因为对于现在的我来说，过去已经渐渐变得越来越模糊，越来越不清晰了。其实我最期待的就是这样的一天，或许是比现在更不记得的一天，但是这一分有这样的进度，真的很好了。之前的伤害，那么多那么重，一个人背上却由不得别人来替自己分担，多么痛苦。时时刻刻忆起痛苦的根源，事情的经过，就让我莫名其妙地落寞、崩溃整天。现在，太好了。已经，不在意了。那些都是不值一提的人生中的困难了。

明天以后，我应该好好歇息了。这四个月对我来说真的不短，而且很折磨……同时，还是有俩人在我生活中为我带来希望与美好的感觉，让我又开始诚心对待应该被珍惜的人。人生不过如此，一次又一次的困难，一次又一次的突破。这是一种循环，咱们自然必须学会如何在这样的环境下苦中作乐、自求多福、奋斗不止，最重要的是让自己的身心重获自由。所以，明天以后，我真的需要慢慢学会放松自己，让紧绷的自己学习如何放慢脚步去欣赏身边偶尔注意不到的东西。

人，都是要靠自己的。现在的我对以前的我来说，是个很不错的女孩。现在我真的觉得，真正的学习才正式开始，因为我的想法随着时间也渐渐地在改变，渐渐地在成长。现在大概是累了，还是真的习惯了，所以在努力的时候，没有那种明显的冲刺，反而只是沉静的努力。我发觉自己开始变得不擅长把担忧挂在嘴边了，别人似乎听不见也看不到那样。就是不再习惯将一切都说出口了，除非觉得有那个必要吧。

我的沉默，已经不同于往日了。

我的生活亦是如此。

这个部落格或许含有很大的意义，因为我是在2009年的下半年里，开始走进了它的生活。那是从失意的我学习如何独自往前走的日子。这里，都是我一个人努力改变自己的时候，也获得别人的帮助的生活。

真的，突然有很大的感慨，而且有一份藏在心底许久，已经冻结了的依赖及悲伤。

打开这个部落格的时候，我常牢记着，常提醒自己，“好好活下去，是我唯一能够做的。”
因为，我真的无力承担任何再将我的自信心及已是卑微的自己击垮了。

或许，好好活下去，不仅是我唯一能够做，必须做的事，同时是唯一能够替自己重拾信心，为生活带来光明的希望。

驱走了，我会继续努力将你从我的生活中驱走的──这个必须驱走的黑暗。

Have a Nice Day

Today, mm... I woke up at 9am, then started off with my housework and breakfast, later on I did my revision on Economics! Left two more chapter to go only... I will finish up everything by tomorrow! I did my revision for three hours with such a lovely cooling rainy day, sitting in front of my study table in my lovely room. Haha. After that I played piano for one hour, then I just get ready for my piano class in the evening. Hmm, the whole bright day just passed quickly and tomorrow is coming!!! Miyako~ Keep it up!!! You can do it!!! Must study hard study smart!!! Don't stress out! Hopefully I can get over everything, confidently. ^^ MUST!!! No more sick!!! I am feeling better now after Friday night had a fever and heavy flu. Actually I am quite scared, and worried.. Cause this Friday we will start off with our first subject which is English! Essay.. Reading passage... Ahh... Think of it also worrying already. This semester really very challenging... If I say difficult, then I will scare myself..!! Just treat it as a challenge would be better. Hehe.

Saturday Night~ A lovely, warm and friendly night for me!!! Guess what? That night really broke record already! Jin Bang and I talked over the phone throughout the whole midnight and early morning until 6am~ We talked for six hours! Really~ I tell you~ Haha. Funny. By the way, I found out something about the way he talks. I mean something he would always say it often. XD

振邦的口头禅：
*……好笑……哎，人生啊……*

你知道吗？ 那时反复听他几乎在说完每一句别具深思的话后，他都会补上这么一句口头禅，真的，我当时就在那偷笑了。但，那个笑意味着的是纯粹觉得他这么说话很独特却又可爱的意思喔。

Well, after that I decided to go to bed since it was already MORNING! I really cannot take it already as while I am chatting with him, actually I am lying on my bed and somehow that quarter asleep! XD What if he gets to know this truth? Haha... Really funny. Then we said good night to each other, actually he said " good Mornight". Really funny!!! Owh, we also bet that see who wakes first later on Sunday, cause he is the type which always sleep late, while I always go to bed early! He said that I will wake up at 12 noon, and he really got it right! I really woke up at 12 noon. Omg I just cannot explain how funny he is... And he is friendly and caring too. Actually that night I felt quite moody, even though it was my Mom's birthday and we had our dinner outside. Even though I enjoyed the moment together with my family, however I felt that I didn't enjoy it to the fullest... Cause my heart and mind was hanging around somewhere out there. Hmm... Luckily Jin Bang comforted me.. He knew why I got such feeling, cause human will get lonely sometimes as well.

昨天呢，跟表姐聊了阵子，还跟维克聊了阵子。嗯，怎么说呢，都在平伏他们的心情啊，同时给些建议。表姐最近都好像对我另眼相看的，真的很好笑。不过昨晚倒是觉得挺爽的，哈哈。毕竟维克跟我聊了一些事情，所以我这个朋友还算派得上用场喽。哎呀，其实朋友本来就是应该派上用场的，我在说什么话呀我。哈哈。总之，明天后天大后天要多多多多加油了！考试来喽！

What to do?

I fell sick again... T.T who can help...? Nobody can help... Why am I sick again??? Again Again and Again!!! So many times already... Last two months I fell sick for three times, can sick for twice in one month and hardly can recover. I quarreled with my mom earlier, talked slightly louder to her, that time I was going out to buy some stuff for myself... I am sick now, and I still drove out, it is really bad as I really cannot concentrate too much on driving, because I am having flu and headache! However I just feel want to leave home as soon as possible so that no need to continuing quarrel with her, so I quickly drove out... Today is the first time I am feeling so worse that shopping alone is so lonely. Maybe it is because that I am sick too... So I am really in moody state right now!!!

Who can accompany me to spend some time to have a tea at night? I feel like going out cause I don't want to feel the loneliness, at the same time I am a bit tired to go out... I don't want to stay at home... But if I go out also I can't do anything much, cause parents sure will give a call and ask me to get back immediately. I know what are they thinking... For my safety. Ahhh!!! Could someone just notice me and care about me?!!! I know who am I mentioning... Haiz...
Too bad, it would not realize.

Date with Candice ^^

Tonight I went out to the Popular Bookstore together with Candice. I invited her to go with me as I want someone to accompany me. After that we went to Bukit Tinggi 1 to have some drinks at Jeth Ice Cream Coffee House. We went out at 8pm and then back at 11.30pm. 3 and a half hours, we spent our time shopping and drinking. Anyway I had a great time together with her, haha... And I realized that I drive a little fast, but still ok lah, cause I do not dare to drive so fast normally and at night. Just now on our way going back got Police road blocking some more... Go out with Candice always laugh, haha so fun. However while I was driving home just now my mom called me, and asked me what time am I going back, I told her I am on the way. Then when the moment I reached home only I saw my Dad sent message to me to ask me to go home. I was a little surprised and upset as some times I dislike parents keep on check on me, even though I know that they are worried about me... Not that I do not know, just... Maybe they think that I still do not know how to control myself in terms of outgoing with friends, and afraid that something might happen to me instead of just chit chatting with my friends outside. You know, it was quite late actually as well, for girls like Candice and me to hang around at outside. Yeah... Apparently that's the way I am feeling, I can just obey to them cause I know what are they worrying about... So.. Hmm feeling a bit down but I will make sure I will be alright very soon ! Cause I know that my exams are coming soon, I should spend more time on studying. That is what I should do now... Anyway, I bought new novel today again!!! It seems like something to make sure that I have appetite, not to eat but to study. Haha... I cannot wait for the final exams to over. Before setting myself free, I must strive for the best!!! Study hard from this week onwards, after all of my assignments and tests had done. Promised!!! Miyako Ganbate Ne!!!

跟自己约会

夜晚，自己溜出去逛书局去，然后再独自驾车到附近的咖啡馆喝了摩咖冰沙。真的是，第一次，自己一个人的到外头喝一杯。总觉得，似乎不像是我会做的事情，或许是玲妅會幹的事情吧。呵呵。说爽又觉得还好，只是真的感觉很静。即使周遭再吵杂，你的内心还是一片沉静的。下次应该尝试下打扮得很漂亮，然后再来独自上街去，再到处逛，然后去咖啡馆坐上半天。呵呵。这样应该很有趣，看起来像在等人，其实是自己一个人来的。呵呵，独来独往喔。应该会很不错，然后随身带相机，可以到处拍照，去到哪都可以拍下美丽的画面。下次，应该尝试的。

今天

今天，终于把所有报告都交清了。不过有小考。其余的课业事就免谈了，只是心情平静得很难过。
挨了整个下午，除了撑着疲惫的身子，还撑着复杂的情绪。
维克，此刻好需要你。
能够陪我吗？
有些事情我只想告诉你，也认为只有你配得起知道，只有你能够聆听我现在的心情。
真的，别无他人了。就只是你。
维克，我忽然难过得想要掉泪。
有谁是真正为对方付出而且不求回报的 ？
甜蜜的爱情存在吗？
真诚的对待及坦言存在吗？
如果存在，为什么非得一错再错，而且常常错失良机，不去把握呢 ？
有时候有些事情，并不是光靠等待就能够成真了啊。
如果俩人互相喜欢，为什么不勇于承认，勇于拥有 ？
如果其中一方并不喜欢对方，为什么不直接表达出来 ？
我就是这样，尽管被伤得遍体鳞伤，我也想要知道事情得真相，尽管……发掘真相以后还是会难过得落泪，难过得心揪成一团。
到底天涯海角，缘分存在在什么地方 ？
而又会把什么样的人带来到身边？
究竟，在哪……？
什么时候 ？
我想，根本不会有人知道。
未来，真的是个未知数，而且是个太大玩笑的未知数了。
维克，我真的很需要你的肩膀，就算是以好朋友的身份，好吗？
就是好朋友啊……否则，我还能要求什么，渴望什么了……？

表姐妹的谈话

“ 表姐，我好羡慕你和他噢。 ” 倚靠在床头，我无所事事的传了封简讯给表姐。

她很意外我竟然会这么说话，然后问了我一句： “ 你有看到我们很幸福吗？ ”

“ 至少开始拥有了嘛，我却还在原地踏步却无法前进。 ” 我说。

“ 可我之前还不是一样嘛，放心……总有一天你会前进的。 ”

于事，我很有感触地这么说了一句： “ 你知道我多想念他吗……表姐，虽说我们从未真正相处过，这样或许比较容易从感情中抽离，但是我就是不想抽离自己离他而去……我希望在他的生活里无论多么孤单，我还是那个会一直陪着他的人，我只希望他知道这一点。说真的，真正的幸福得来很不容易，所以如果抓紧了就不要松开手。 ”

“ 你那伟大的付出真可惜他不知。这种叫默默喜欢与付出咯！” 然后她继续说： “ 只要你单纯着喜欢他，他应该不会排斥有你常关心还是陪在他身边。就不要想太多了。 ”

“ 他应该知道吧…他说过，他知道我一直都对他很好。 ”

之后表姐说，如果我跟他真的在一块，虽称得上远方亲戚关系，却毫无血缘关系的我跟他，如果真的在一块，事情似乎不太好。

猛地心智坚定，我告诉表姐： “ 或许他在意这种事吧…不清楚他怎么想，但如果他不愿意冒险我也不会拖他下水，我只求他平安快乐而已。” 说完，我觉得自己说这么一番话感觉好老土，但它却是最适合形容我当下那一刻的心情及感受了。

接着我说： “ 只要他有那份心意，即使是有心无力我还是会感到很满足，我不会想去勉强他……起初我也是考虑到这个问题，原本是有些害怕及担忧，然后变得很没有自信想要退缩，但认真考虑许久之后，我还是决定要勇敢，因为我爱的是他，所以愿意为他承受一切…… ”

原本的我考虑到此问题，确实顿了顿，而且开始变得矛盾，但无论如何都阻挡不了那颗在心底下熊熊燃烧的热情及爱惜，我的心就只是想珍惜一切，把握我能够拥有的。因此，我勇于为他突破。

“ 或许我的爱还并没有那么深，但我很清楚只要他情我愿，我一定会尽全力去争取我们的幸福，而如果事与愿违，我会选择放弃追求在一切的机会，但是我仍然会继续默默陪伴他。” 诚恳地由衷之言，我接下去： “ 我希望看见的，就是他一切都很好很好。只要是为他好，我会舍得为他付诸行动。”

真的，只要是为他好，我都愿意赴汤蹈火。毫无疑问，毫无怨言。

表姐先是震惊了一阵子，然后才缓缓地吐出话来： “ 看来这次你真的下定决心而且很喜欢甚至是爱这个男生。之前都没看你为了某男生而愿意选择很难抓紧的幸福。之前就算有人送花给你都会左右担心还超级抗拒那种，现在是要为了爱豁出去的感觉。 ”

听她这么说，我笑了，笑得很开。

“ 好吧！你都那么大了，会懂得思考且有自己的想法。希望你会如愿以偿咯。表姐是认为，这种爱把它单纯化比较好。 ”

她说的一点都没错，或许这份爱，将它深深的埋在心里，将它单纯化才是最好的。我已经做过一次了，三年前我就已经向他告白过一次，但是遭受拒绝。那时候开始，我便决定将喜欢他的感觉放在我们的友谊上，好好建立一段属于我们的友谊，他就因此被我列为，我心中唯一的异性好朋友。想必这份待遇，不是谁跟我好就会拥有的，即使现在也一样，谁都无法取代他的位置。

不过，在那之后，我还是开始交了男朋友，而且一交就是六个，直到将近半年前，我停止交往了。除了是因为在感情上遭受到种种自己经不起的挫折，同时也是因为自己不断地伤害别人而伤害了自己，所以决定收手，收拾心情，不再这样混下去了。我不想要自己的感情生活变得这么一文不值，毫无意义。

老实说，我并不愿意这样过日子，自己根本没好受到哪儿去。真的很累很倦…我也只不过想遇见一个能够让我真正珍惜，真正感受实在的爱情的对象。不过，那个对象，我总是觉得已经出现了，只不过遥不可及的未来，我还是不知道自己究竟会获得什么，拥有什么。

之前每谈一段恋爱，或是结束一段恋爱，我都会第一时间通知他。但唯独最后一次，就是我的第六任男朋友，我并没告诉他我又开始交往了，然后又分离了。唯独那一次，我没有告诉他。不知道为什么，我已经不想告诉他，因为我开始在意他对我的看法。因为开始在意，所以我变得不敢告诉他了…然后，直到现在，都维持着单身的身份。如今，我确确实实单身快半年了。

时间真的过得好快。我，也认识他三年了。

从以前到现在我总会写信给他，每年定时寄生日卡给他，认识他的第一年我亲自折了星星送他，好不容易有机会回去妈妈的住处，而他也住在那儿附近，我才有机会将礼物送到他的手中。第二次就是他二十一岁生日，我送了皮包，第一次那么舍得买了个比较实用但价钱不菲，加上看来较有绅士风度又略带成熟性的皮包给他。同样的，好不容易回去，我也好不容易将礼物交代于表姐然后拎给他。

一直以来，从认识他到现在，我为他做过什么，虽然记得，但似乎毫无感觉那样，不知道自己做了多少，总是可以那么自然的为他去做，为他达到他要的，只要我做得到。并不辛苦，反而有种小小的幸福。

究竟是为何，我自己也不知道，只知道自己并不想抛下他一个人，只想一直支持他。

说到这，眼泪都快流出来了。

“ 老实说我自己会有这样的想法也很意外，毕竟以往的我挺不定心的…可能他是我想珍惜把握一辈子的人也说不定，所以才会有如此决心。我就是喜欢单纯的爱，所以没有他的认同及回应下我也只能够静静等待，静静的喜欢他了…真的什么也做不了了。 ” 我缓缓这么说。

“ 表姐，放心吧，我不会冲动。毕竟感情方面需要双方面的情愿才能顺利进展，否则一个巴掌是拍不响的。我觉得他需要一个很认真很成熟的恋爱，这样他才能够真正得到心灵上的依靠及放心。他顾虑的事或许太多了，所以他需要认真做出对他身边的人及他自己正确的选择。 ”

我一直，都是这么认为的。他需要的是一份可靠的安全感。而我，需要的亦是一份宁静的安全感。

表姐笑了，然后她说： “ 你说的话真的成熟许多。但记得你说的，感情真的是要双方的，别只做自己想要的而忽略他的感受。”

感情真的是要双方的…最后表姐这么说，我开始想起或许之前的我还没能够顾虑对方的感受，所以才会有许多的不足及做不好的地方。我是应该学习及改变这一点的。我只是希望自己，可以是一个很体贴及善解人意的朋友，同时也是这样的一个情人。

维克，我很想念你，却每一天每一天地压抑这一股情绪，想要大声告诉你，给我一次机会来爱你，给我一次机会陪伴你，但还是…算了…真的，算了吗？ 其实我也无能为力，无可奈何。第二次的告白，你告诉我等见了面以后再讨论，我并不太清楚那是什么意思，让人失望难过，认为一百巴仙是再度被拒绝了，却又让人抱着一种莫名的希望。我不想想太多，但我就是无法避免…尤其是想念你，每一天都担心你因为工作太过繁忙，没机会好好休息而累坏自己。维克，我何苦不是呢？ 只是你和我的压力及疲惫都不一样。有时候虽然真的很压力，但是想想自己这么繁忙，至少能够体会到辛苦及压力的滋味，那么我就知道你有多么的拼搏，而在那一个倔强的大男人背后，隐藏的是那些无法轻易说出口的压迫及烦恼，所有努力的一切都只是想要让自己身边的人好过一些，也让自己好过一些，被人瞧得起一些。不是吗？ 真的要加油，真的还有我…我是一直在默默支持你的，知道了吗？

有些人只是生命中的过客，经过以后就会消失不见了。唯独你，我不想要你只是我生命中的过客，这样经过然后再消失不见。我想要的，是你一直存在我的生活里，直到生活的日记被翻到最后一页为止，直到花都凋零为止，直到生命终止，直到世界末日，我都想要珍惜你的存在，珍惜唯一的你，无可替代的你。因为你是你，所以我才会喜欢这样的你。

Memories for 1st of November, 2009.

I miss those times, so sweet... haha. Yeah actually I am missing that cute guy, or I should call him cute boy, because he does not seems like an 18 year old guy. Anyway I really like him playing the piano. Somehow I regretted that I did not get the chance to brave myself to take picture with him, for the first time and last time. Who knows that will we be meeting each other again another day? Although we attend music class in the same music centre. How good if next year can get the chance to perform piano duet with him!!! Haha. Hopefully... Anyway, wish him the best in his life and future!!! He is too cute and handsome. His eyes are big... But dark circles are obvious. Maybe I got attracted by his dark circles? Haha cause we are the same kind, I also have heavy dark circles around my eyes. However he does looks like my Japanese idol, Nishikido Ryo. Haha. Seriously!!! For me he is... Miss him. Must continue playing piano oh!!! So man la when a guy plays piano. For the first time I like a guy playing piano, even though I have met some guys playing piano. He is the first one. Haha. I have that feel, cause not that you will have it towards everyone who learns piano right? Hehe...

Candice went to the in house concert together with my family and me too. We spent great time there, at the same time I am nervous too... She tried to calm me down and being supportive. Hehe. My parents as well ^^ Glad to have all of them who I love and who love me around me. Wishing them the best and bless them. Owh, by the way, have to clarify that all these photos were taken by Candice, thanks to her effort. Hehe. Arigatou!!! Mina-san, including Parents, brother, brother's girlfriend and Candice, Otsukaresama deshita! ^^ Time to sleep now~Oyasumi.

Stressful November

Today, the in house concert finally over. I get over it at last. ^^ Feeling so happy and proud of myself. Hehe. What a relief! However I still cannot get the chance to rest well as there are two more assignments have to be done and pass up by this coming Wednesday. I am wondering how am I going to get over this... There is a lot of stuff which I do not really know and understand, but still have to depend on myself to gain some understanding on it. Really feeling bad right now. This two months, October and November are really the stressful ones. This is my final semester for Foundation course, but I am so busy right now. I thought final semester will be less busy ... But it was totally opposite with my thought. Forget it... Stressed. Tension. Today is quite a tiring day... After my performance, I went for lunch with my family and friend, then we went to the old Jusco for shopping until evening. After fetching my friend back, we went for dinner and then went to Tesco to do some household shopping.

I invited my friend, Candice to the concert actually, and she was interested to go. Luckily I got her along the way while waiting for my turn to perform, or else I would ended up being too tension and nervous, maybe I cannot perform that well like I did today. Thanks to her keep cheering me up. Hehe. We sang song together too while listening to one of the performer playing piano. I met my friend there too, he was there to perform his guitar as well. Hehe. Quite a nice concert actually, but its sound system still got lot to be improved. Today is the first day I wear like a girl, I mean more girlish as compared to usual I wear to college. Haha. I like my clothes today.

Owh, by the way, I liked a boy today when I first met him in the music centre! He was there to perform piano as well, but it's a piano and violin duet together with another little girl. I love guy playing piano, and that boy was so cute!!!!! He looks like my idol, Nishikido Ryo. Omg... But pity him having dark circles, but he's still handsome and cute looking!!! I really like to see him a lot. My friend just managed to take his photo of his side face and back. Too bad I cannot get the chance to take his photo face to face, but he looks quite young, maybe just above 13 years old but have not reached 18 years old yet. Hehe. I think I like to tackle cute boys. Omg . Haha. He's really cute, undeniable, for me. Only left his photo to be my memory.

I am really tired today!!! Stressed off, worn off. I need rest!!! Why assignments are pouring in non-stop? When can it end? Hopefully it really come to an end this Wednesday, I really cannot take it anymore, I mean without having a good rest and sleep. My body and health cannot undertake too much of these health stress. Sleep!!! Sleep is important for me now!!! I hope I can figure out a way to do my last business statistic assignment!!!! Ganbate ne Miyako!!! You can do it!!! Just like today! ^^ JUST DO IT! GO AHEAD!