Happy Day

I went out with Carol and Jocelyn tonight for dinner, and I've met two new friends who is "導演" 杜奇峰 and Mr. Ivan (Carol's **).

Indeed it was an enjoyable night and I am glad to meet Carol and Jocelyn again, I guess they are doing great even though their workload would be much tiring than the others, cause they are doing sales ma......

We went to 新村肉骨茶for dinner (I am the one who directed them the way to this restaurant), and then we headed to I-city! (with excitement)

The lights are really beautiful and it is full of visitors during weekend.

We thought of going for the SNOWWALK but then it is too expensive and it is not really worth it if you compare it with the Genting Highlands one, at last we ended up taking a ride on the Ferris Wheel !

Its quite a huge one, and I am really excited to get up there, because it had been more than 12 years I had not taken a ride on this thing.

I actually snapped a photo of the night scene even though it is not really clear, but I just can't find the photo in my phone because I did something to the memory card today... Guess there is some setting problem which I have not settled before using the phone camera, and my lovely picture just begone. Sigh.

After that we took a ride on a chain of mini cars which go upside down, well most parents took it with their children, but the five of us are all adults and each 2 of us are squeezing in a car, it looks funny and awkward.

I did enjoy this trip tonight, and I was longing to go to i-city since last time, and I never thought that I really get the chance to visit there one day.

Well, maybe the best part of your life is that, something which you are favour of comes unexpectedly into real. 

I am feeling really happy tonight, to see two of my girlfriends are doing fine, especially Carol...... she is just like my elder sister which I love and miss so much. 

After so many unhappy things have happened all these while, finally I get the chance to relax myself by really enjoying to play something fun, and which brought me back to my childhood times. 

It is a great night, with no worries, even though we really sweated a lot! 

Thank you for bringing me out tonight, Carol. 

Stay tough and positive, there is always a shoulder for you no matter what happens. 

Same to me as well. Stay tough, Kathrina.

Me*Jocelyn*Carol

Carol*Toh Kee Hong*Me*Jocelyn

 

opportunity cost

Sometimes you will have to forgo something in order to gain another, which could benefit you better in your life. 

The thing which you chose to forgo, is the OPPORTUNITY COST. 

My aunt told me, in life there are many circumstances that require us to make decision, and we always have to look at the long run result, not the short one. 

Things which you have chosen to let it become a PAST, then this past should drain away all the sadness which sometimes appear to be unbearable.

Keeping the sweetest memory inside the heart but moving forward strongly matters the most.

Learn not to rely too much on anybody, learn not to develop hatred in our heart.

Learn to be more open minded, learn to become a person with great acceptance towards what have happened.

Because, soon enough, it would just become a part of your life that assist you in growing up. 

Stay strong and firm, stay kind and generous, stay rationale and with empathy, that's what I need to do for now and future. 

Ganbatte. 

What is Friendship?

FRIENDSHIP, is NOT about SELFISHNESS. 

FRIENDSHIP, is NOT about RECKLESSNESS.

FRIENDSHIP, is NOT about CRUELTY. 

FRIENDSHIP, is NOT about HATRED. 

FRIENDSHIP, is NOT about DISSATISFACTION. 

FRIENDSHIP, is NOT about OBLIGATION. 

FRIENDSHIP, is NOT about MISUNDERSTANDING. 

FRIENDSHIP, is NOT about DECEPTION. 

FRIENDSHIP, is NOT about VENTING ANGER. 

What FRIENDSHIP is??? 

It is all about...

LOVING, CARING, FORGIVING, SUPPORTING, UNDERSTANDING, TRUTHFULNESS, SINCERITY, BELIEVING....

Which all of these are based on a gentle and rational judgement without any prejudice.

I started to feel hurt, I started to feel hopeless, after giving in so much, but not gaining any understanding from my best friend when I am undergoing those moments which could drive me insane and helpless.

If you are not the one who understands me better than the others, then I shall not force us anymore further to try to be nice in front, but pain in deep heart.

If only you could understand what are my feelings, you would understand how much am I struggling to go through these obstacles, especially when I am alone.

Somehow I just could not take anymore hurtful matters further, even though I can bear the pain, but I just could not do so for now......

I am really tired and sick of all relationship problem.

I just wanted to be happy, I just wanted to be calm, I just wanted to enjoy, I just wanted to be appreciated, I just wanted to share my happiness and sadness with someone, and hoping that there is always a shoulder for me if I really need it.

I just wanted to lead a peaceful life, without having too much disturbance that affect my emotions, my daily chores.

Is it something which I am asking for too much?

Is it that I am unforgiven?

Is it that I am the one who caused all these sadness to happen, and so I am obliged to repay my debt and make everyone satisfy and happy, excluding myself?

I just feel hurt......

To the extent that, I am no longer concern with what the rest thought of me at most times.

Because I could understand the reason behind all these happenings, but I am just too helpless to do anything to fix it right.

I guess, I am right from the beginning......

No one would stay by your side until the very far end, because everyone comes and goes......

Being strong and firm enough to face every decision and incident we encounter in life,

would be the only way to keep us moving forward, positively, without anymore worries that would stir up your heart and soul which is so painful at times.

I have learned something precious to me after all these while......

Cheers. Life is just, like a boat, you will just need to keep rowing and rowing......

Non-Durable Sweetness?

I feel good today, even though I've encountered many ups and downs emotionally.

I wonder how long happiness could last?

If it does not last for long, at least for a short period, I wish I could just stay happy without having to think so much about other stuff.

I admit, I have learned from the past relationship, and I have already decided to stay strong and stand firm on my own ground.

Even if I would regret someday with my choice, but I will still choose to continue my journey.

I seriously don't want to think anymore further, I just wanted to stay happy and strong always, I just wanted to enjoy my life as much as I could by not continuing to bring sadness to the others.

What I can do the most is, to appreciate as much as I could.

If you could not understand me due to some reason, its alright.

Humans need to learn to be open minded and think positively.

Ganbatte!

Live without hatred

Live without hatred, is the best thing you will ever feel in this whole life.

Every little thing that you felt at each moment, will soon fade away as fragile memories.

So why not just cherish what you possess now, rather than chasing after something which does not belong to you in the end and make yourself bleeding like hell?

听见心碎的声音

今天……

是我最崩溃的一天……

最崩溃……

没想到我会对洲昌乱吼乱叫……像丧心病狂一样……那么痛苦……那么深刻……那么无助……

即使眼泪滑落面颊，却依然坚持将他伸过来安慰的手推开。

我们，都疯了……

爱情这种东西，不搞了……

越搞越难过……

我第一次，一边流着泪一边冷漠地看着他，不眨眼。

心，真的累到了极点……

现在如果任何人要求我做这个那个，我根本就有心无力了……

我问自己，什么选择才是真的对得起自己的心……

应该是这种选择吧……

没想到，心碎的声音是那么地刺耳……

不知道为什么现在的我，眼泪一直流不停，无法停下来……

总是觉得好辛苦好难受……

自己仿佛最后什么都得不到，注定失去，注定无法享受别人给我的宠爱……

注定要在爱情里承受遍体鳞伤……

 碎了，也不想拾回来了……

想就这样丢弃这些心的碎片算了……

人总是要等到错过的时候才来后悔……

我已经，无奈到了极点……

只想要静静一个人……

静静地看着蔓延在体内的落魄……

我已经迷失了在爱情里……

我很崩溃，很崩溃……

只想尽心对一个人好，得到认同……

却什么都失去了。

根本就没有人会懂，我此刻的心情，感受……

好想就这样睡下去，不要再醒来……

等我的心充好电了，才醒过来吧……

不然就让它永远沉睡……

我，累了。

坚强到，不知所措，坚强到，累了。

一个人孤单下去，比较好……

难过

为什么心会如此难过？

为什么会如此想哭？

为什么总觉得好辛苦？

我以为，我真的可以从昨天开始快乐起来了，平凡地快乐起来了。

才过了一天，却因为自己的心软，自己的无力、自己的无奈而又把自己拖进这个感情的旋涡里。

说好了，暂时分开……

我以为，我终于有机会按照我自己的想法去过我想要过的生活，

但是当我依然在对他好的时候，却再次感受到自己内心的不耐烦，自己内心的懦弱及无助。

为什么？

为什么当我的心已经无力、已经疲惫到这种地步，到已经有点不想回头，也回不了头的地步，他才来跟我表白那么多内心话，才来对我那么明显地好？

说好不流泪的，明明那天晚上也没有流泪，明明认为自己可以坚强去面对。

但是为什么我还是流了？

那种感觉我真的不知道要怎么形容，虽然以前的日子过得很委屈，却也有被疼爱的时候，

当每一个人都劝我想清楚自己的未来及幸福的时候，我却违背了他们对我的期望继续跟他在一起。

最后把自己搞得那么累，那么伤痕累累。

值得吗？

现在的我已经不知道了。

以前的我只是觉得，只要你真心爱一个人不管付出多少都是值得的。

现在呢？

我只是觉得，一切真的好像已经来不及了。

在他能够完全明白我的心声的那一刻，虽然我很感动很安慰也很珍惜，但我就是无法再给他一个拥抱去接纳他，接纳我们的过去。

可能承受不了了吧。

 心酸、心痛、改变、努力到累了吧。

我的心，真的麻木了。

现在的他对我好，我只是觉得他比我更委屈，

而且从头到尾做错事情的人是我。

我知道这样的我很傻很白痴，明明自己承受过那么多的委屈我却可以全然不顾，

还替他着想怕他孤单所以跟他还很要好，还会陪他吃饭，出去约会。

可是我知道我已经不想让他走进我的心了。

据说，一对恋人交往当中如果十指紧扣的话，证明他们很了解彼此也愿意接纳彼此，感情是外人无法想象的牢固及融洽。

但是最近的我已经开始不跟他如此牵手了，

已经开始把满是自己心声的手掌心裹起来，不再让他触碰了。

我没有那个自信让他触碰我的心声，没有心思让他再懂我了。

为什么会这样？

为什么感情会走到这一步？

现在看见他拼命对我好，害怕会永远失去与我联络交流的机会，我只是觉得很心酸，很痛，

心里一直在想，为什么他那么那么珍惜、那么那么想对我好的时候，却来得那么迟？

为什么要在我麻木了、无助了、习惯了以后，这些我一直以来希望他懂的东西他才会在这个时候明白？

我只知道，他对我越比以前好，我越觉得愧疚。

反而我觉得自己是个罪人。

但为什么满身伤痕的我却会觉得自己是个罪人？

 我为什么那么白痴？

我为什么会替别人着想到这种地步？

我为什么始终都无法改变这个事实？

这个总是替别人着想却无法正视自己的感受的事实。

很辛苦，很辛苦！

我好无助……

今晚想找人陪我听我说出自己的心声，想找的对象都不得空。

我甘愿把自己锁起来更好。

把自己的心锁起来更好。

不要再渴望有谁可以懂我的心了，

我真的不想再去面对这些令人难受又复杂的感受了。

看见自己沦落到这种地步，没想到是那么失望、那么痛、那么无力的感觉。

甜蜜的欢乐

有时候开心的事情并不是要跟所有人一起分享才会感到快活，

反而藏在心里细细品味也是一件值得欢乐的事。

即使那种欢乐不会持续很久，即使有一天会烟消云散，但它还是值得珍藏在内心的。

太多的解释会让人误会，太多的顾虑会让人难受，太多的放纵会让人迷失，

最重要是自己懂得衡量什么是最值得的。

对得起自己，对得起天地良心，而且，快乐就好。

人生不就是这么一回事吗？

又何必去在乎太多呢……

因为没有人会知道，你所珍藏的那份心意，到底会不会成为一种永恒，抑或它只是暂时性的。

所以，快乐就好。

没有遗憾，就好。

 我很爱，身边所有对我好的每一个人。

同样的，也很珍惜这些得来不易的心意。

或许，暴风雨已经过去了。

欢迎，我平静的生活，我爱你。