Challenging for Me

Such a long time I never online already. Before this my brother's laptop connection got problem... What to say... So many things happened these days. The past stuff I would just ignore, but few days ago the Saturday, I went to my ex's farewell party out of a sudden. I didn't even know anything about that party was being held, while I was studying in my room, my brother's gf just ran into my room and pulled me out, saying that we have to attend XXX farewell party. Yeah he's leaving, to U.S for study. How to say? My mind and heart quite complicated that night, cause I didn't think that I will meet him again, and the time I met him was the last time having dinner together with him. At first of course I told myself nothing much and it was just a farewell dinner. My mom asked me to go that day cause she does not wants me to stay inside the room whole day. That night he sat beside me. I'm glad, at the same time my heart felt complicated. I thought a lot of things and talked to myself inside my heart. I didn't talk much with him that night, but he still served me those food and drinks. I thank him for being so concern and kind to me. That night, don't know why I felt relieved as he chose to sit beside me, not other girls. Anyway there's nothing more than that... Just the 1st time after broke up I still managed to sit together with my ex and eat. That was the first time, and I hope it will be the last time. To tell the truth, I still cannot really manage to face all those ex bravely... But if it is just a phone contact then I am totally alright with it, just face to face, for me is too much... It needs a lot of courage you know.

That night after I reached home, wanna go to bed... Unfortunately I cannot sleep that night. My mind was a mess and I thought a lot of stuff. Well, he's leaving... This Thursday, 10th of September. Nowadays I'm very busy with my studies, assignment deadline is this Friday but we haven't done anything much. Stressed... I would learn to say it is challenging rather than saying it is stressed. Everything already ended. Already... I don't think that much anymore, and I still have to live on despite anything happens. Miyako... Ganbate ne.