10Th of September, the day you left to U.S. At first I can't send you at the air port... That time I was going to give up already, since I have no transport and quite tired, but I felt that if I do not go, I will feel very sad. That's why I asked Tiffany about the transportation problem, even though have to trouble the others I still want to go. Just to fulfill my hope, just to do what I have promised you before this.
I thought I would not cry when you left... But after you really left, taking one footstep continue by another, my heart started to feel heavy and upset. I not dare to cry in front of so many people, and I not dare to cry in front of myself... Because I do not want to admit the truth that I will be upset with your leaving. At the air port, while all of us were taking pictures and talking to each other, you didn't even look at me or talk to me even you stood in front of me, so close in front. I watched you taking pictures with most of your girl friends, except for those younger than you, including me, I felt myself being ignored. Not to say completely ignored, just a kind of feeling that, we are going to be far apart soon... I knew that you didn't look at me was because you will feel upset... I think I am the same as you. That's why the both of us, didn't talk to each other at all. Even saying goodbye... You didn't say anything, didn't wave your hand to me, although I tried to wave to you, hoping that you can see it.
You told Christal that, on that day you are departing, if she sees anyone cries, this represents that girl is your ex girl friend. I think she could not figure out who is that, and might misunderstand another girl is. I calmed myself down and made sure that I am in a neutral mood (neutral mode). However, until you really left, then only my eyes started to fill up with tears. I walked behind of them, and Tiffany was accompanying me all the time... I dare not to cry... Even the tears didn't really drop. The moment I really dropped a single tear was on the way home in the car without having anyone's notice. While we were at the air port, watching so many friends took pictures with you, how I hoped we take picture, at least one... just with me... But we didn't... We only took few group photos. You and I were standing so far apart even in those photos. You know? There's no object which can represent our appearance in each other life. Only our memories in our mind...
To tell the truth I appreciate it a lot, every moment together with you. You always gave me something unexpected. This year you have given me the best Valentine so far, the best Birthday Present for last year, the best couple dating and we went on eating around + shopping, the most gentleman which always served me my meal. You're nice... Just sometimes I dislike you force me to do something I am unwilling to. The Birthday Present you gave me last year, I had lost it, together with the Valentine Present, a necklace. That was a nice one... Pretty, and suits me. I still wear it for some time... I like the necklace is around me. Later on I changed it and putted it together with the bracelet which was my Birthday Present. One day I just lost it... I dropped it. Maybe everything was already destined. The time I lost that bracelet and necklace, I was wondering that one day you also will just leave here, and everything I possess now will fade away.
Now, you have left... Somehow I regretted that I didn't talk much to you before you left, didn't ask you to be careful and take care while living over there. The reason I don't, was because I know you know what to do and I believe in you. I really don't like to admit that I am feeling a bit regret, cause I always tell myself, once a decision have been made, there will be no regrets. I never look back just because I don't want to regret. However, now you have left. Well it is not really something big though... It was just that, the feeling of upset still hanging around me.
I know since last time you already worrying about me after you leave for U.S. Got once I was very angry with you just because you said that I might change and become a clubbing girl or whatever. Anyway, don't worry about me... I am much more stronger now. I gave my promise to you, believe in me... I know you hope I won't get influenced easily too. I will study very hard over here, make sure you take care of yourself over there.
Owh, the Farewell Party... That day, it was a memorable day for me. You still treated me nice and served me as well... even fed me few times. I didn't reject... Somehow I felt happy that day you were sitting with me, not the other girls. Thank you so much. Now everything is over, you will forget all of us, and me very soon... Very soon... Well, wish you lead an enjoyable and successful life over there! You were there whenever I needed you before this. The only ex which brought the sweetest memories to me, and knows how to appreciate me... I know you love me from your heart, cause I can feel it. Thank You... CM.
(If possible, please bring 1 necklace and bracelet for me one day when you are coming back. ^^)
I thought I would not cry when you left... But after you really left, taking one footstep continue by another, my heart started to feel heavy and upset. I not dare to cry in front of so many people, and I not dare to cry in front of myself... Because I do not want to admit the truth that I will be upset with your leaving. At the air port, while all of us were taking pictures and talking to each other, you didn't even look at me or talk to me even you stood in front of me, so close in front. I watched you taking pictures with most of your girl friends, except for those younger than you, including me, I felt myself being ignored. Not to say completely ignored, just a kind of feeling that, we are going to be far apart soon... I knew that you didn't look at me was because you will feel upset... I think I am the same as you. That's why the both of us, didn't talk to each other at all. Even saying goodbye... You didn't say anything, didn't wave your hand to me, although I tried to wave to you, hoping that you can see it.
You told Christal that, on that day you are departing, if she sees anyone cries, this represents that girl is your ex girl friend. I think she could not figure out who is that, and might misunderstand another girl is. I calmed myself down and made sure that I am in a neutral mood (neutral mode). However, until you really left, then only my eyes started to fill up with tears. I walked behind of them, and Tiffany was accompanying me all the time... I dare not to cry... Even the tears didn't really drop. The moment I really dropped a single tear was on the way home in the car without having anyone's notice. While we were at the air port, watching so many friends took pictures with you, how I hoped we take picture, at least one... just with me... But we didn't... We only took few group photos. You and I were standing so far apart even in those photos. You know? There's no object which can represent our appearance in each other life. Only our memories in our mind...
To tell the truth I appreciate it a lot, every moment together with you. You always gave me something unexpected. This year you have given me the best Valentine so far, the best Birthday Present for last year, the best couple dating and we went on eating around + shopping, the most gentleman which always served me my meal. You're nice... Just sometimes I dislike you force me to do something I am unwilling to. The Birthday Present you gave me last year, I had lost it, together with the Valentine Present, a necklace. That was a nice one... Pretty, and suits me. I still wear it for some time... I like the necklace is around me. Later on I changed it and putted it together with the bracelet which was my Birthday Present. One day I just lost it... I dropped it. Maybe everything was already destined. The time I lost that bracelet and necklace, I was wondering that one day you also will just leave here, and everything I possess now will fade away.
Now, you have left... Somehow I regretted that I didn't talk much to you before you left, didn't ask you to be careful and take care while living over there. The reason I don't, was because I know you know what to do and I believe in you. I really don't like to admit that I am feeling a bit regret, cause I always tell myself, once a decision have been made, there will be no regrets. I never look back just because I don't want to regret. However, now you have left. Well it is not really something big though... It was just that, the feeling of upset still hanging around me.
I know since last time you already worrying about me after you leave for U.S. Got once I was very angry with you just because you said that I might change and become a clubbing girl or whatever. Anyway, don't worry about me... I am much more stronger now. I gave my promise to you, believe in me... I know you hope I won't get influenced easily too. I will study very hard over here, make sure you take care of yourself over there.
Owh, the Farewell Party... That day, it was a memorable day for me. You still treated me nice and served me as well... even fed me few times. I didn't reject... Somehow I felt happy that day you were sitting with me, not the other girls. Thank you so much. Now everything is over, you will forget all of us, and me very soon... Very soon... Well, wish you lead an enjoyable and successful life over there! You were there whenever I needed you before this. The only ex which brought the sweetest memories to me, and knows how to appreciate me... I know you love me from your heart, cause I can feel it. Thank You... CM.
(If possible, please bring 1 necklace and bracelet for me one day when you are coming back. ^^)
Your Dearest,
Kathrina Lim Ling Hong
Kathrina Lim Ling Hong
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